Concordia cum Veritate

Monday, June 26, 2006

Home Grown Terror Cells

Washington DC - A massive series of raids conducted in the country overnight ended in the successful discovery of recently active heretical terrorists cells. Radical groups such as al-CFFC (ex-Catholics for a Free Choice), al-FutureChurch brigade, and Condoms for Life jihad have been preparing a series of massive militant attacks against the Catholic Church across the world over the last few years. Special Operations Units caught who they believe to be the ring leader of the whole organization, Frances bin Kissling.

Reports of a strange woman in vestments handing out condoms to local children led Special Forces to the culprit. Bin Kissling was found in the basement of her local DC hideout at al-CFFC conducting militant training exercises on forcefully bad-mouthing Catholic clergy such as Pope Benedict to make them accept her views on abortion and contraception.

Bin Kissling is widely responsible the killing of millions of innocent preborn children around the world and for terrorist attacks at World Youth Day 2005 in Cologne, Germany, when members of Condoms for Life jihad attempted a massive soulicide terrorist condom attack on the Catholic Youth of the world. No damnations were reported as a result thankfully.

Pope Benedict XVI praised the victory saying, "We have prayed for the peace and justice of Christ, and God has answered our prayers to the fullest on this day. Even though many sheep were lead astray, let us offer our forgiveness to the terrorists. And let us not forget the prayers of Our Blessed Mother, whom we thank as she birthed our Saviour and our peace."

President Bush commented, "Today America and the people of the world can rest easier knowing the ultimate evil of heretical terrorism has been defeated."

Below is Frances bin Kissling in an undated photograph most likely taken by one of her extremist heretical hoolagins:

I thank Jeff Miller and his WMD article at Curt Jester for the inspiration:

Pax vobiscum


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